I've been feeling isolated and lonely, disconnected from my holiday rituals. Because we couldn't afford a tree and I've lost my box of vintage Christmas-themed snowdomes, I didn't put out any decorations. Because we can't afford to buy gifts or send cards, I was feeling sorry for myself. Because we couldn't afford to heat the house, or buy special food for a holiday meal, or go out for a drink, or... Reading about everyone' else's holiday preparations and festivities has just been making me feel more deprived and left 0ut.
But today when I was writing a message to a far-away friend experiencing holiday stress, my advice to her really hit home: "remember that this time of year is supposed to be about you and the people you love." I realized on the spot that I needed to take my own advice to heart.
Despite my recent feelings of disconnect and loneliness, friends reached out to me and Cole in myriad ways these past weeks. Gifts of leftovers, a small tree, holiday sweet treats, party invitations, well-wishes - all have come our way. We are blessed. And we have each other! This is our first Christmas married to one another - I can't ruin that.
So I've decided to...
Watch my Charlie Brown Christmas DVD,
Enjoy the last day of knitting on my sweetie's Xmas socks,
Savor the handmade ginger cookies Tryphena made me special, sans nuts,
Decorate the wee faux tree Jaimie & Nick gave us as if it is the fir of my dreams,
Drink the bottle of wine that Lisa & BJ gave us,
Hug the Santa pillow my mom made me when I was little,
Put out my Nana's ceramic choir of angels,
Play Santa Baby & Meli Kalikimaka,
Cherish my new husband & listen when he says all we need is each other,
And remember what this time of year is all about:
The people that love me and the people that I love.
Whatever your holiday of choice, may you be surrounded by those that love you and those that you love.